From Documentation :
IOS Create a template image that represents the Action extension. A template image is an image that iOS uses as a mask to create the final icon that users see in the activity view controller. To create a template image that looks good in the end user interface, follow these guidelines:
Use black or white with appropriate alpha transparency. Do not turn on the shadow. Use anti-aliasing. Create an image in two sizes:
For the iPhone, the image should look good centered in the area, measures 60 x 60 points .
For iPad, the image should look good in the center in an area that measures 76 x 76 points .
You can also get more information from HIG .
Use the monochrome version of the application icon to expand the Action. (In contrast, the Share extension uses the applications it contains in the full-color icon of the application.) To create the Action extension icon, you can start by creating a screen version of the icon for your application. Simplify your design if necessary by focusing on the elements that make your icon unique.
If you provide several Action extensions in your application, this may work well to create a family of icons for them. Be sure to make each icon in the family look associated with the application icon.
Edit: From Documentation (icon search):
On iOS, the Action custom extension uses the template version of its containing the application icon that you must provide.
IOS Share extensions automatically use the app icon. If you specify a single icon in the target Share extension, Xcode ignores it. For all other types of application extensions, you must provide an icon corresponding to the application icon.
For information on how to add an icon to an application extension, see Creating an Asset Catalog and Adding a Set of Application Icons or Running the Define Image. For more on the icon requirements for iOS application extensions, see the “Extensions Application” in the iOS Human Interface Guide
Edit 2: Create an AppIcon image object in your extension folder and add your icons to this set and specify this asset for your extension and application purposes.
Also, make sure your extension icon has a fully transparent background, not a solid white. Any color other than transparent will be displayed as solid dark gray.
