See the TiModdevguideDemoView.h / m and TiModdevguideDemoViewProxy.h / m files in the iOS mod guide:
https://github.com/appcelerator/titanium_modules/tree/master/moddevguide/mobile/ios/Classes
It demonstrates just the connection between views and proxy views. In this case, he makes a square.
You can see that it is used in JavaScript here: https://github.com/appcelerator/titanium_modules/blob/master/moddevguide/mobile/ios/example/demos/viewproxyDemo.js
As soon as you have it in your hand and you can do a simple viewing, you are ready to take the next step to resolve your issue. You need to convert your XIB to NIB. The easiest way is to add the XIB to your own project, compile the project, and then pull out the NIB. Dump it in the assets for the module, and then link to it from the module code. Unfortunately, I do not have a public source that uses the NIB for communication, but I can show you a fragment. (A number of modules that we support use this method, so I know that you can successfully run it! Jira, Gigya, city airship and others.)
NSBundle* bndl = [NSBundle bundleWithPath:[[[NSBundle mainBundle] resourcePath] stringByAppendingPathComponent:@"ti.jira/1.0/assets/JMC.bundle"]]; JMCSketchViewController *sketchViewController = [[[JMCSketchViewController alloc] initWithNibName:@"JMCSketchViewController" bundle:bndl] autorelease];
Please note that we usually do not use NIB unless we have something from a third party that forces us. It is easier to simply create views imperatively, rather than declaratively.
You can learn more about proxy views and views in our guide for iOS modem developers. Once you understand what I linked above in the modem guide (and successfully create your own), the mod guide will be much more useful to you. (I have some updates to the manual in the pipeline that will facilitate understanding, by the way). http://docs.appcelerator.com/titanium/2.0/index.html#!/guide/iOS_Module_Development_Guide
Hope this helps. Let me know if I can do anything else. There is a small hump of understanding for you to complete, but as soon as you put a little fat on your elbow, you will work at full speed with the development of the module.