For Windows I use Native Application Updater
http://code.google.com/p/nativeapplicationupdater/
and the WinRAR SFX archive (.exe) to automatically update my current applications while they work.
Native Application Updater will check the version, download your new exe, close your application and launch this new exe.
In SFX options:
I use an absolute path, for example:% USERPROFILE% \ AppData \ Local \ com \ thenewkid \ appname \
In the "Modes" section, you can select "Hide All" in the "Silent" mode. In the "Settings" section, you can run the application.exe application after extraction.
You can reduce the size of the update by deleting the Adobe AIR folder until a new version of the SDK appears (i.e. you just had to increase the last update by 3.3)
For MAC, I use Installer. This is not as quiet as Windows Updater, as the user will have to click a few hints with the installer, but this will allow you to put it in your home directory so that there are no administrator privileges, which is what I find the most useful aspect at runtime.
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