Well, after about 3 developers reviewed this problem for 5 days, we found a solution:
rm -rf Library/Application\ Support/iPhone\ Simulator
Or, alternatively, if you drop an entire directory tree, this is not your thing:
Go to the iOS Simulator app. Select iOS Simulator from the top menu and select "Reset Content and Settings ..."
Something seems to be getting corrupted between the simulator and Xcode, so Xcode cannot connect to the simulator to view the tests. Xcode believes that there were no tests, so the tests pass.
We are not sure what causes this, but after 5 exhausting days and 1 decision later, we do not care, because we are heading to the nearest bar.
Greetings.
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