what I was looking for was where to change it.
in the end it was simple, it was in ...
C:\Tomcat\conf\server.xml
Edit ...
<Connector port="8009" enableLookups="false" redirectPort="8443" debug="0" protocol="AJP/1.3" />
to
<Connector port="8009" enableLookups="false" redirectPort="8443" debug="0" packetSize=21000 protocol="AJP/1.3" />
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