I posted this question on another forum and got a good answer that worked well. Here it is:
If your data is in an ArrayCollections, you can assign the ListCollectionView to the dataProvider property of your child AdvancedDataGrid and assign ArrayCollection data to the "list" ListCollectionView property. When you want to change data in a child grid, reassign the ListCollectionView property of the list. This way you avoid reassigning the dataProvider of the child grid directly, which causes the grid to reset.
here is the link to the post:
http://forums.adobe.com/message/2206736#2206736
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