I just did this:
<?php
$tstart = microtime(true);
php_uname('a');
print 'it took '. sprintf("%f",microtime(true) - $tstart) ." seconds\n";
?>
And this produced it:
it took 0.000016 seconds
That is, on the Debian 2.4GHz Core2Duo core.
I know this is an empirical test, and that’s it, but I think it shows that it will be fast enough for you.
I did not expect this to take a long time, since uname only needs to make a very simple kernel call.