After quite a lot of research, it seems that it is simply impossible to do exactly what I want. See here:
http://netbeans.org/bugzilla/show_bug.cgi?id=162764
It would be useful if nbactions.xml and nb-configuration.xml acted in the same way as the parent POM: if I have nbaction.xml in the parent project, then all actions are inherited.
Basically this is what I want, and user actions for each developer that "inherit" the user actions of the project. Answer:
Probably impractical ...
And the ticket is set by Resolved / WontFix.
So, for now, here is my next thing:
NetBeans permits different executions. Profiles for which Run / Debug / Profile, as well as all user actions can be independently defined. Each profile is stored in a separate nbactions-XXX.xml , where XXX is the profile name. So, I can place nbactions-*.xml in .gitignore , but make an exception for nbactions-GroupGlobals.xml .
This is less than ideal - using one of my custom goals means right-clicking on a project, going to the Profiles menu, choosing GroupGlobals profile, right-clicking on a project, switching to custom goals, launching my goal, right-clicking again Click the project by going to the Profiles section and selecting the default process.
However, I suspect it will be less scary than the command line for some of my developers.
I remain in search of a better solution.