RDS is a proprietary protocol, and from memory has nothing to do with IIS. Authentication for RDS is controlled during initial setup / installation. You can change the password using the ColdFusion administrator.
Another problem is that although you turned it on during installation, it sometimes remains disabled. So you need to edit the web.xml file (make a backup first). Here's a link to a kb article with detailed instructions: http://kb2.adobe.com/cps/172/tn_17276.html
Hope this helps.
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