I do not know any universal solutions that do this, especially something that packs a configured WAR. IzPack can collect installation parameters (and possibly help solve Step 3), IzPack has an advanced Web Installers feature that can help solve Step 4, but as far as I know, this is not a build / packaging tool, so it wonโt cover the fifth step (most important).
Maybe the maven archetype can help here (interactively). But I'm not even sure that the archetype will offer you the necessary level of flexibility. In other words, it will not be easy.
In fact, in your case, I think that Ant (with Maven Ant Tasks or Ivy) would be the best option, I know that this is not what you asked for, but I do not think that Maven is the right tool for your use.
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