So, apparently, the problem was that the API, called the Token Service, was not included in my Google API Toolbar.
Thanks for the helpful email from Firebase Support (thanks guys!), I turned on debugging logging by calling FirebaseDatabase.getInstance().setLogLevel(Logger.Level.DEBUG);
Lo and behold: D/PersistentConnection: pc_0 - Error fetching token: An internal error has occurred. [ Token Service API has not been used in project <project-id> before or it is disabled. Enable it by visiting https://console.developers.google.com/apis/api/securetoken.googleapis.com/overview?project=<project-id> then retry. D/PersistentConnection: pc_0 - Error fetching token: An internal error has occurred. [ Token Service API has not been used in project <project-id> before or it is disabled. Enable it by visiting https://console.developers.google.com/apis/api/securetoken.googleapis.com/overview?project=<project-id> then retry.
Thus, by turning on the API, he seems to have fixed the error!
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